Jesus and The things that John Paul Jackson has showed me about God!

It started as a curiosity about someone who heard from God! There was a inkling something was happening to me since I started studying the Bible.  I started noticing one day when I called reply to someone i had not seen since High School! I detected something happening to him on Facebook!  Lets say I felt he was disillusioned by a comment he made!  Suddenly I heard a verse that day and I felt I really need to tell him and maybe it will encourage him! The difference is I had never done this before and I had never really felt I could do this! Then I thought he probably thinks I am a little nuts but oh! well maybe, I could be?  Then there was incident in a Bible study where I heard someone say they were proud of six year old for telling a little Jewish girl she would go to hell if she did not believe in Jesus ! I became angry and I thought she did not teach the child to tell them Jesus loved them! People were just teaching if you don't like Jesus your going to Hell! I had a real issue with this since someone had told my Son this in Indonesia and he never wanted to be around Judgemental people in the church. I had problems with Church and some Women I idolized asked me to lie about a incident that happen to me and a friends family. I had to overcome my issue with the Church for I knew I wanted to be close to Jesus and I would have to overcome this battle! Then I became ill and stopped working and was on so much medication that I could not even see straight or think straight I was riddled with fear from thinking I was going to die! I prayed all one night after I heard a child had died and I was so confused as why children die and then I heard a young man at seminary had told another student that Babies would not got to heaven if they had not been baptized .  There were so many reason I should not attend church I even heard a young minister brag about kicking people out of the church who were trying to teach the wrong things at the church. I knew I was not even liked that well at church and they did not care if I stayed or left. I was a little off the wall for them and sometimes for myself as well! Then one day I attended a Bible study and they started talking about Muslims and I thought I know this I have been in a Muslim country and lived with Muslims on a daily basis!  I was shocked what they were teaching from someone who admired and respected and after living in a Muslim country and then I found out the person had never been to a Muslim country just learned about it at School. Misconceptions and so many wrong turns ! How was I ever going to look like Jesus if these were my examples! I thought these people need to change!!!!!! Bible  carrying people  who had never really met the Jesus I was reading about was it really so hard to be like Jesus in this day and age! In case you haven't notice I was pretty angry at what people called Christians! Church goes who did not practice what they preach! Why was I going here I had been offended not ever asked to dinner at anyones home from the Church never called friend!  I was not told come sit with me at Bible study! Then God start healing the inside of me! Believing God with Beth Moore and listening to Blackaby book at the same time. Then the dream happened! It was one night after praying for the child dying and her family! My heart was broken for her family! There was so much pain with the child I had never mets death! That morning as I finally went to bed i had a daydream kind of! I heard my Husband taking his shower before work and my husbands Father was with us! So we were sleeping upstairs! The half awake half asleep thing happened! I saw a Truck next to me in a car the truck was pretty silver trailer and blue and I saw myself seeing the truck about to fall over on top of me but there was a child with me and I placed my body over the child and the truck fell and we were safe! The car was crushed! It was so clear the dream! As my husband finish his shower! I told him about it ! He joked and said well you better stay at home today for I don't want a truck falling on you!. I never learned a lot of addresses in the Bible for scriptures. as I was falling back asleep I heard Hebrew13:8 and I grumbled because I was sleepy and I did not want to go look up on the computer what Hebrew13;8 was ! Then the voice as clear as bell standing near and it was not my voice said Hebrews 13:8 still grumbling I got out bed really angry I was  getting out of bed to go look! There it was Jesus is the same yesterday today and forever! Yes I may have heard it a thousand times before but I never knew it was in the Bible! I had been researching the Passover for sadder I wanted to have because of Jesus the one and only! Then I wanted to know if other people had strange dreams and I started looking it up! i wanted to know why I was telling people Bible verses and why i suddenly thought I knew so much about Jesus and why ? Things were happening like people walking up to me in the mall and hotels and in the street saying things about the Bible. Then I was at getting my oil changed with Keith and a Man started talking to me about Jesus and his wife had visions and she could even heal and that she was going to a concert of this famous Violin player and Keith and I had nothing to do so we went to Concert and listened to most beautiful music together! Then I turned on Daystar and was listening to Beth Moore on life today and next show was Joni and it was John Paul Jackson and he was telling about what the Lord showed him.  I was so desperate to know about the dreams and then I saw he had a course on Dreams and Visions!  First you had to take this course! So I signed up for the course and there were several courses there and I watched one on getting rid of past hang ups about sexual molestation! How God kills fear and how to hear from God! Then it started making sense what i had happened to me! He explained the Holy Spirit and Jesus and God and how the trinity worked I had a little help from the book The Shack but John Paul put it in perspective for me! No one was telling me at church about how spirit leads you but i knew something was happening to me! I began to have more and more things happen! All i know is my God is powerful and the Holy spirit leads us and helps us make choices! I often look for God in everything and now that I look for his Character and things that he says are truth are truth. I know to believe the Bible and not to look to mankind for my help and to trust God his word has the answers and I know had I not started listening to John Paul I would probably think I was nuts myself but My God often shows up and I love his presence! Funny I now find them at church when I attend and now that I got the me of me out of the way I can spend more time with God in his word and see his presence in as simple as giggle of a child or smile of teacher or flower in my Garden. I know this is hard to understand but even some mornings i awake and pray the Lords prayer just to remind myself who he is and what he has done for me! I enjoy the thought time and then something will happen a verse or tv program or phone call from a friend !  Maybe what I had prayed or a verse will be exactly what is about to happen when I go to church I often find spirit urges me to study something I will need for the day! Sometimes to help or encourage a friend Sometimes just to show me how he puts order in my chaos  and how he loves me with healing and helps my friends with prayer! I often see so many prayers answered because I look for them! Am i special No I am not! Anyone can have what I have with the Lord all you have to do is look for him You know seek and you will find him! He is there in the still small voice if you listen your will here it and if the voice says what about me! It is not from him especially if you are thinking of yourself for you see Jesus never thought of himself first! John Paul taught seeking God and believing is the key to following Christ. oh and The Church is just a place for people like me we make mistakes and  we often do not look like Christ when we really should We are just studying the word there and hoping it stays in our hearts. In case you didn't notice the whole time I was talking about these are other people in the church I was being pretty judgmental and I did not look like a Christian either.

The Flower My Friends and Me in a Garden with Jesus

This year as I was preparing to sell the House I planted a One Hundred Dollars worth of Pansies! I had never had luck with Pansies but I want that beautiful color in the front of the  a mixture of different colors Purple and Yellow and Red. Usually as I put flowers in the yard I pick one color for high impact. This year I decided to take a risk and plant the Pansies. I had planted them in my Mothers garden one and the next morning got up sore from the nights work and found the flowers had all been eaten by a rabbit or dear I was never quite sure! I decided then I did not know enough about planting soil. So I decided to upgrade the soil with good top soil and then I decided I needed plant food and and then I thought How do I keep these Pansies drought resistant so I added six inches of mulch and replace it once a year for the heat can be brutal in Houston.  In the year of 2012 and 2013 I decided to try my luck again with something I had failed at miserably to the point I thought I should just let the real gardeners garden and I should just pay them for it. Then my Husband came into the picture first of all paying for flowers has always been argument in our relationship. He just could not understand why I would pay for flowers already grown when I could start them myself from a seed. I agree but I had enough problem getting the ones to grow that had the best environment conditions for growing. I spent time in preparation but I wanted a strong healthy plant to start with I wanted it to have the best advantage to make and I believed the curse of my black thumb would kill them. So this year as we planted the flowers I tried something different I refused to let my Husband call my flowers dead already! No I spent the money I wanted them to grow! I was invested in the flowers and argument we had because I bought flowers these flowers were going to have the best opportunity to grown! They had just finished construction and on the house and we were ready to start preping the house for sell but it wall already late September and early October and I needed the house to look good. So I planted sore back and sore knees and then I did something I had not done before I prayed that God would help me with these flowers and that he knew how they should grow better than I did ask him to bless the home I was sell to others ! It was important that after the fire that this house be blessed with love for the New Owners I wanted to bless the grown and the house and speak how beautiful it all was and it was!  So I planted the flowers and everytime I watered them I prayed Lord bless these flowers and Father your will be done if they should live or die let your will be done I will water and love on them but Father you are such a good designer No one had ever made things as beautiful as you do! So I Blessed them and said a little prayer! Knowing all power comes from Heaven the power for me to walk to the garden and water the flowers to wave and have conversation with neighbor next door and see the beautiful little butterfly that landed along with a spider or fire ant in the garden or thorn.  All of this God but together. All I had todo was speak blessing and give them food water and make sure they were in the position to get the best light. Nothing more was required of me the grew all alone I had nothing to do with it ! They each had their own color and their own height and yet they were all similar none looked like the other one! In one of the first Beth Moore Bible studies I took one of my favorite for it was where Jesus helped me do my Homework I would try to explain to the class that jesus did my homework for me by showing me How to listen to an Audio Bible on my way to class the homework I needed for the day was being told to my on my car stereo ! It was the one that would be on the lesson that day! Yes I bought the Bible on Audio so I could hear and read the whole Bible while I drove up and down the streets of Katy! I am totally positive that Jesus knew this is how I learn best! For with me someone put the Bible into spoken word was more powerful than my reading it I was feeling the way God felt sometimes as I listened. I would find myself weeping as I listened to the Bible! One day a sweet girl named Kelly brought a flowerpot and dirt and water and planted little seed and spoke of good soil and how God provided what the flower needed. I understood that I was the flower that God was working on I knew he provided Sun and Rain and Shade but somehow the part of blessing was not in the lesson for me! I had to grow and learn my blessings and see Gods handiwork in my life. It was all there everyday but I was recognizing I just had to receive his blessing. Know he gave it to me ! Then as a knew Christian I tried to think I could make my friends be like me and see the blessing of God doing my homework! I know some of them thought I was lazy and did not do my homework ! Sometimes I felt the questions they were asking in the workbook had no value and were frivolous!  Like compare verse eleven with verse ten and how does this make you feel! I would often think? They were not the same verse and does this Man have what it takes to be a leader in the Church .  I was thinking only God knows! I have seen his help me when no man on earth did ! Something I believe only Jesus has the Power to do. The point is I tried to play God with my friends life ! When I kept putting my experiences in life into theirs. Each one of my Friends were just like the Flowers they grew differently and I was to care for their hurt and hold their hand and pray with them and listen to them and discuss what I was learning but God was the ultimate Gardener he knew all about them! He knew every drop of blood that flowed inside of them and I could only see the outside. Now as I look at my friends I know longer think I have to fix them but that what beautiful pansies they are and how Great God is at gardening and making beautiful flowers and how I just have to bless and love my friends and family and let God be in charge and lead them from point to point in their life! For after all he did my Homework and makes the flowers grow and I just have to follow his directions on timing and placement and where he say Go today! Maybe it jut to smile at a lady in the Grocery store or listen to stranger story who needs to talk to a stranger and tell whats hurting !  Maybe it telling that child they are beautiful even when they have a muddy face! Maybe it is just telling your Husband the Lord Blessed me when he gave me you! Then maybe it is just knowing I am blessed no matter what happens today!

In the very Awe of God

Just another Monday was it only a week since we got a contract on our house and is it only another Monday! What can happen in little over a week! Monday I awoke thinking what do I need to get done today! We had gone to Church on Sunday and I saw in improvement and a really nice couple showed up to help with our Sunday School class. It was very nice to see them since we had a larger class and we needed the extra help with each one of the children. It was also nice to have a Man came who was a take charge man to help with the young ones in our class the children responded to authority of a man! Then we left feeling blessed and I had lunch with my Husband at the Red Oak Grill a very nice place that is run by Christians from Israel. I find some most amazing God moments happen there for me! Then we came home and Keith went to check the fifth wheel and one of the slides needed fixing! Finances had been complexed over last week with all the extra expense of moving back and forth to the house and beginning to purchase needed day to day items. Life was complex Keith and I had discussed a neighborhood but it was not everything we had been looking and the drive would not be easy for him and I had sensed a reluctancy for us to move there.  There was only one house that could be a possibility but we knew it would take new floors and the entire house needed painting and there was sense of sadness but I thought with Gods help I could make it look good and have to finance a little but it would be enough for us to pay it off quickly like a truck!  So I felt the urgency to go see it even if Keith could not come. So I called our realtor and said Could she help me see it! She said She had a Dr. appointment for her daughter at noon and was not sure how long it would take and I said I would really like to do it today actually I was a little forceful and I felt guilty for putting her in a bind but I though I was not sure what else to do. So I said Why don't you make the appointment from four to six this afternoon. Feeling guilty for pushing her if her child was ill. She had told me she had hoped to go out of town for a few days with her Husband for Valentines to San Antonio and I felt urgency the way houses were going off the Market that I needed to act now. Again feeling guilty for forcing her to show me something I knew I could not make an offer on today for my house had not closed. So at three oclock she called and said we could see the house at 4 o'clock I immediately called and Keith and he decided to meet me at the house. Keith and I arrived at 3:45 he had an easy ride on the Beltway and he was glad he came! The man had not left the house yet so I stood outside with Keith discussing the neighborhood and as we Watch the Mothers all wait for their Children and let them rollerblade! I though this neighborhood feels alive with Children and met a little girl named Heidi and her Mom had Faith and Breast cancer T-shirt she was the age of my children. She said she lived there for Ten years and she loved the neighborhood that she had a lot of good friends there. I thought how Blessed for years I have just been acquaintances with mine. Then I look up and a New house had appeared on the Market over the Weekend and the funny thing was it was the very house I had pointed out on Thursday to my girlfriend last week as I showed her the Neighborhood as we drove through it I had wanted her opinion if she thought it was the one for me. She said Oh yeah this place has Sharon written all over it. My daughter had told me about the neighborhood. So knowing the only house would take a load of cash to fix up I had decided I would go for the broken so for days I had thought no matter how broken down I like the neighborhood well enough to live in a Home Owners Associations.  The house that appeared was already painted the color on the outside I love the porch was beautiful and had a place for rocking chairs and a front porch swing a old dream of mine. It was nicely landscaped and I walked in it had hand scraped wood floors and cute little set of black french door which I had consider in my house at one time. The dining room could have a walk out of French doors to the side yard and had lots of storage area. A small living area still with a corner fireplace and a cute Kitchen which had new stainless except fridge. Which I had to purchase last week.  A small laundry room with a walkout to two car garage. Fifth wheel would have to be stored and   A adorable window seat in the Master and the Master had been partially remodeled new share and three nice bedrooms one great for a sewing room and one for sleeping guest and a Bedroom big enough for a small media room. Then the best part was a screened in back porch of the Kitchen that looked on to a Lake with a fountain but a small backyard.but a great side yard for a Rose garden.  Keith and I almost ran through the house like children after looking at the first house and wonder if we would have enough money to fixed it up! This one had almost everything on our wish list and I walked in the door and said God made this happen for I had driven by the house and thought they house looks to good to be true like a dream. Sure does it have a few faults but don't we all!  It felt so much like it was Good home and home where God had lived in and his presence was near. I hope it is in Gods plan for me to have it but if it is not we wrote and offer for full price to sellers but we have to close on ours first! I know I have done all I could do and if it is Gods will that we live there then it will happen! I like it but only if it is what God wants for us! I know it is not the last house on earth and God may other plans for us all ! I trust God to hold my future! I know his ways or better than mine! Just like I know he also placed me as the first person to look at that house I know not what his plans are but I thought  I would like to be the Grandmother figure in so many children in that neighborhood I might could even bake cookies and tell them all how wonderful Jesus has been to me in my life and watch them all grow up in that neighborhood . I always like the thought of being a Grandmother to many children but God may decide those children need another friend to live next door and that is ok too!  I may mumble a little while but in the end I know My Father in Heaven has me in Awe whether I get that house or not! One of the most joyful things I had seen in a long time was my Husband excited about a place and saying immediately he wanted that house after five seconds of walking inside. So God plan is in action lets just see what he has planned. Only he could have made yesterday happen and He knows what my tomorrow brings but one of the sweetest gifts of seeing the house was The pure Joy on my Husband face as he said this feels like home! That smile was worth a million houses on his face for lately he was looking perplexed and bewildered and unsettled and a saw a dream come alive in him again! He did not look bird with his wing broken but like he could fly!

Just Monday a life changing event

Sometimes as I wander throughout the journey of my Day I wait expectingly on the Lord. I know he is in charge and I know that no matter what happens my hope is in him.  As I traveled my day I awoke not taking time to spend with Lord. I was getting around to it. In my thoughts I was going to have a lonely Monday as sometimes they are? My Husband goes back to work and the little things I discovered over the weekend need addressing. For instance the Laundry and tubs and showers cleaned or the things that were going to happen. I was even more not anxious about turning on the Television to see inaugural for my Candidate did not win the Election and I did not want to watch the Victory dance. I love my Country and I believe in Democracy and having a President but I firmly believe in my right to choose. So I walked in to Garage and saw the refrigerator was still broken it had broken on the bottom and the freezer was working but the bottom was not working.  I knew the Realtor was going to call with a offer this morning on the house! I still would have to purchase a refrigerator even though we were moving. I needed a place to store food although we are temporary in living in our house.  So my Sister called and said What are you doing and I gave her a run down of my weekend and listen to the way hers was! She always gets to have her children visit and come eat with her! I always feel a little sting for I miss my Children but they have such busy schedules that they often do not have time to come and eat and the distance and the fact they do not like my cooking could be key there. I often feel a little sting of jealousy as I hear how her children love to spend time with her and eat and love her cooking. I actually love her cooking as well so I truly know why they love her cooking and she is so easy to cook with and she is good at arranging things with others something else I am not very good at. Anyway on with the story I get side track so easily! So then my Husband called and said I can take a little time lets run and get a refrigerator! I did not plan to buy a refrigerator and it was emergency spending another thing I get upset with unplanned spending for necessity! I would rather spend money on Grandchildren or furniture or clothes but no one must have a refrigerator. So we plan for him to pick me up ! We decide he would have to come back by the house to take one vehicle. Then in meantime a dear Friend one of my very best for she has stuck by me through thick and thin and we just get each other! She works very hard and gives all she has to so many! She has truly shown me what an unselfish person look like! I watched her overcome Breast cancer and her Husband overcome throat cancer and she was by my side through my illness and drove when no one else could. She has been out of work which I believe was no fault of her own. Loves her family with every ounce of her being no matter what they choose to do! She has been a God given friend for years to me! She calls and said I bought you a present and I went antigueing and I found something for you and I cant wait to give it to you! It made me smile for she really listens to me and know what I like. I told her as soon as I cleaned the refrigerator off the calendar I would meet her! Then husband and I go Home depot Fridge was to small and a lot of money and then we go to Lowe"s and they were way above what we wanted and some would have been okay but we had to see the Scratch and Dent place for after all it was a garage fridge! My Husband said we will just have someone deliver it ! I thought there goes the rest of my day! I will be waiting on delivery people! Good bye lunch with Friend! Then the realtor made Phone calls talking about the deal on the house and we Counter and then she said they agreed! Paper work needs finishing but the couple wants to be in the house by end of February! Oh well there goes my long hot tub baths again for I cannot purchase another house till I have cash and remodeling will ensue since the cash will not be elaborate as this house. My Husband wants a house without house loan. He says he is getting to old to keep working like he does. I pray he does not decide the fifth wheel is enough house for us.That man could truly live in a box! Any way this is only about Ten thirty in the morning and all this is happening! We get to fridge place and purchase a more expensive fridge just in case it ends up being a house fridge till we remodeling what ever we buy! The phone rings and Daughter calls Mom I am helping design the teen center at our church and I need you to go to Ikea and look at my Ideas. I then hear my Husband calling his Son to help him load the refrigerator before he goes back to work and then my Daughter say can we meet at Cracker Barrel. My husband drops me off and my Daughter picks me up this is about Eleven o"clock and I have bought a new fridge talked to my sister my daughter and my son and my Husband and sold my home and made lunch arrangements and off to Ikea. As my Daughter comes into CrackerBarrel  she has a folder a inch thick with all her planning! She draws the room for me and has collection of items she is considering purchasing and has a budget and this will be a confirmation trip of Ideas at Ikea. She has layed out her plan methodically and as I sit back I am so impressed with her design ideas and the care and the effort she had put into planning the youth room at Church and how she has listen to what the youth and youth leader would consider necessary for this room and how they have taken ownership and really working for fellowship and Gods glory! I must admit I was very proud of her. She is such a take charge Women who loves the Lord ! I look at her and  Thank you Lord you did not let me mess her up to badly and she is making a great breakthrough in her life. Then we go and walk the entire store ! We have difference on which exit to take but she takes her own! I suggested strongly but she took her own path which I find sometimes is much better than mine. Then after we shopped she told me I was write about someone which I never thought she would ever say and Mom how did you know and I said I have been burned a few times and found out the hard way! Then my Son called and was checking in with me on his way to Monday meeting he has with his work!  I told him of the house and ask what was his plans! He said he would stop buy to visit one of my friends. Then I go to meet my friend  and she still has not showed me the gift. We go to pottery barn I need knew towels and Tuesday morning and she needs another gift! She tells me of her wonderful girl weekend with her sisters! How they love being together and I think I love that she had them! Then we go to Pottery Barn by this time it is five o'clock an my feet hurt and I am needing a glass of Tea and some Nachos at chills and Paradise pie to celebrate selling the House a great day with friends and We have an elaborate discussion on peoples sexual preferences and choices they make! Then after we decide we would love them and maybe not understand their choices but love them first! It was ok day! Nothing like a boring Monday at my house. Oh and as we got home my Friend took a box out of her trunk! She was determined she would surprise me ! She had bought something I told her I had always liked as  a little girl! It was something I did not see anymore! As she took the box out it was a 1950 box of Crystal serving pieces of punch bowl cups and plates you know the ones everyone use to serve wedding cake on ! I decided one day I would look for them and she remember and spent her very hard earned money on them! It was such a special gift for it told me she listened to me and cared enough to search for me and she found such joy at giving them to me and I will cherish them always they even have the original box.

Just a little Bunco

Funny how playing a game! Can initiate so many forms of conversation! I was late for Bunco. I did  not know even  where it was being played today? I thought it is Jan's house because everything is happening at Jan's house this month in Welcome Wagon! Such a giving person she is ? She enjoys being part of the group and she loves having people around her. It is so nice to know such good hearted women.  There is about twelve women who come to socialize and play a game!  I am sure the game is just a reason to spend time together with others who need a date and time to be somewhere! They give generously to others and they care and most of them go to a Bible study or a part of group of people who genuinely care about others.  The conversations range from politics and taxes to scholarships to healing and what God has done or natural diet and Some have faced their own demons in different ways! We have lost a few and gained a few but somehow Bunco and the relationship with these Women show me I am normal and worry about the same things other people worry about. There are moments even when I doubt but Jesus showed us that there was doubting Thomas's even in his disciples.  As I listen to the other women I see little ways Jesus is working in their lives. One lady had Ovarian Cancer and had been given great news to hear the news was not that great! She was talking and saying that no matter what happens I think the Lord is using me in my illness to be a light to show others even when your not winning the battle with disease you can be a winner by the way you face the disease! We never know or understand all the reasons God allows things to happen but I am convinced that everything that happened to me in my life God had a purpose for it!  I know that I am in a more peaceful place now in my life and even in disaster I know there is hope for the future and there will be good  times and bad and God may not end every story the way I pray for it to end but I know it is his will that counts. I know that we will all die someday and I know that when God chooses for that day to happen for me that I want him to receive the glory for my life! That the way you walk with him is what really matters and not what you have or the way you look but the fact that you Love and are loved by others that matters for sometimes I believe the true fruit of this world is Love for our fellow man nothing  that is hard to have nothing I have to strive for but pure love for mankind. Gods definition of love not society definition of love. What I mean by that is when society loves they build temples and monuments and bigger houses and faster cars and better bodies. They do not trust that people will love and admire them without them!  One of my greatest examples is Mother Theresa no matter what religion you are you admired her love for her fellow man.  I know that I know that God loves me enough to give his son and I know that man will continue to sin or make bad choices but I will always know they could have made a good choice and I will continue to know that I make choices everyday and some will be good choices and some will be bad for I am not perfect at anything. I know sometimes we get so bogged down and blame everyone else for the mistakes we make when it was only a choice and God know you can come to anytime and anyplace in your life and change your choices even if you feel like you have made a bad choice hopefully tomorrow you will make better choices but you must first choose to make that choice! Trust to be lead by the word of God and know that God has a reason for everything and they may not all bless you this day but tomorrow your blessing may come! There have been many times I wonder why my children don't love and admire or respect me and whether they really do or not I do not know! My hope is tomorrow they will know I have always loved I may have made a bad choice one day but my Love for them has never left my heart, I may not even know what bad decision I made in their eyes I often think I should have done this or that with them but I could not know no matter I did how they would receive my love for them One thing I know is God knows how I love them and I pray they will know how much I love them one day if they ever read this.

Walking by Faith 2013

Lord lead me in the path of Righteousness!? 

Such an easy statement but such a hard thing to live out or is it?  Do our struggles against ourselves have to be so difficult or do we just have to live and let Lord do all the work?  We are saved by Grace but does that let us of the hook for doing things?  Do we just have to trust and obey and walk forward? 
What is hope is it God? My questions of the Lord become more complex as I journey forward in my walk with him! I trust him and I pray I choose correctly when I think I am obeying God! I find when he is working in my life I really do not have struggles, the struggles come when I try to make things happen the way I would like for them to happen. For instance, Selling our home I was absolutely it was the correct thing to do to be debt free! As my Granddaughter said Grandma I have all those memories of Christmas and watching movies and snuggling with you and helping you get ready for Seder and Easter and I have so many memories here. I think of the Grandchildren singing Karoake and my nieces having a fashion show with Juliet and all the conversations I had with Grandpa and saying goodbye to him here! How great my friends were to me during the fire and How it was here the Lord spoke to me for the first time and it was here that I felt the need to place an Ebenezer stone to remember how the Lord had helped me! It was here where I realized I did not need drugs or fear of illness to carry me through it was the Lord and him alone.  That changed my life when I made God bigger than man. Fear became something I could recognize in myself. I knew it was something that stopped me from being and overcomer and that it stopped me ! Not other people but me who stopped myself from being who I could and will become. My God is greater than anything! I know it is easy to be near him and I hunger for more of him always ! It is the best addiction of my life my love for him and his for me! I can sit by myself and not fear where I should be and I can be alone and enjoy the presence of him leading me in solitude. Peace and Joy he has showed me this year far beyond my expectation. I feel I can give peace away for if people realize fear steals it and Joy is a happy moment you can enjoy anytime you want to! You choose when you feel joy and You choose when you feel fear! That was the hardest thing in the world for me to understand but now I get it! Does it mean I never am fearful of course not but I know where it comes from and I look for what is in my that is causing me to fear! Jesus always made it so easy if we listen to his parables and look at what he showed by the way he lived! On the cross Jesus faced every fear I could possibly imagine and ten times worse and I just have to know his voice and not fear voice. Thank you as I continue on my journey with the Lord I hope I can always make it easy for the Lord to lead me and I can just keep out his way and live today

Praise the Father with telling others of his blessings !

I am creating this Blog because I love to hear testimonies of healing and Miracles! I searched and could not find one? I hunger to hear about blessings! I want God to get his Glory for what he has done in others lives! He healed me He showed me drugs taken out of fear of disease is not for me ! I was taking 800 dollars of medication a month ! I had simply gone to a doctor because I was feeling forgetful and weak and lightheaded ! I had a bad back with bulging disc! The endocrinologist told me I was hypothyroid and per diabetic ! The only medication I took Synthroid and large doses of Vitamin D . I was told to take my blood sugar five times a day and look for spikes. Then one day I felt like every ounce of energy drained out of my body and I was on the phone with my Husband and I became slurred and it took all I had to get to Dr. And was sent to emergency they said my Thyroid was good and blood sugar fine! told maybe I should see a Neurologist and then I had spells I could not explain which heightened fear for I did not know what happening to me? I went to Neurologist which put me through test after test then saw General practitioner which sent me through numerous test from cardio,,pulmonolo gist rheumatologist you name it I went to it ! I was taking Eleven different medication could barely think and was so sore I could not hardly walk! after almost a year of test and medication ! I had diagnosis? COPD  BULGING  DISC PRE DIABETIC RHEUMATOID ARTHRITIS SEIZURES TIA'S LUPUS FIBROMYALGIA  HYPOTHYROIDISM  ANEMIA HARDENING OF THE ARTERIES !!!!! That was terrifying year! One day I drove myself to the DR. And I had something happen on the table IT was just a stomach test to make sure I had no masses! I was so drugged that I should not have been driving but I felt that everyone had felled me my friends my family my DR. I knew there was a pill or a test that would find out what was wrong with me!   I told God man had always failed me I was just going to trust him and that night I told my Husband I was stopping all medicine and he would know if something was wrong take me to Hospital ! So I stopped all medicine that night  That was  almost four years ago! I have two doses of antibiotic for infection like sinus and bronchitis! I may never know what happened I have gained weight I like food if I have a addiction it's food and I do not exercise enough !  I am fairly active and I walked a lot in Israel and I walk a lot with my dogs ! I found people have hard time seeing miracles I want to show them they exist ! Gods gift to me was no fear and trust in him! Sharon Albritton