Jesus and The things that John Paul Jackson has showed me about God!

It started as a curiosity about someone who heard from God! There was a inkling something was happening to me since I started studying the Bible.  I started noticing one day when I called reply to someone i had not seen since High School! I detected something happening to him on Facebook!  Lets say I felt he was disillusioned by a comment he made!  Suddenly I heard a verse that day and I felt I really need to tell him and maybe it will encourage him! The difference is I had never done this before and I had never really felt I could do this! Then I thought he probably thinks I am a little nuts but oh! well maybe, I could be?  Then there was incident in a Bible study where I heard someone say they were proud of six year old for telling a little Jewish girl she would go to hell if she did not believe in Jesus ! I became angry and I thought she did not teach the child to tell them Jesus loved them! People were just teaching if you don't like Jesus your going to Hell! I had a real issue with this since someone had told my Son this in Indonesia and he never wanted to be around Judgemental people in the church. I had problems with Church and some Women I idolized asked me to lie about a incident that happen to me and a friends family. I had to overcome my issue with the Church for I knew I wanted to be close to Jesus and I would have to overcome this battle! Then I became ill and stopped working and was on so much medication that I could not even see straight or think straight I was riddled with fear from thinking I was going to die! I prayed all one night after I heard a child had died and I was so confused as why children die and then I heard a young man at seminary had told another student that Babies would not got to heaven if they had not been baptized .  There were so many reason I should not attend church I even heard a young minister brag about kicking people out of the church who were trying to teach the wrong things at the church. I knew I was not even liked that well at church and they did not care if I stayed or left. I was a little off the wall for them and sometimes for myself as well! Then one day I attended a Bible study and they started talking about Muslims and I thought I know this I have been in a Muslim country and lived with Muslims on a daily basis!  I was shocked what they were teaching from someone who admired and respected and after living in a Muslim country and then I found out the person had never been to a Muslim country just learned about it at School. Misconceptions and so many wrong turns ! How was I ever going to look like Jesus if these were my examples! I thought these people need to change!!!!!! Bible  carrying people  who had never really met the Jesus I was reading about was it really so hard to be like Jesus in this day and age! In case you haven't notice I was pretty angry at what people called Christians! Church goes who did not practice what they preach! Why was I going here I had been offended not ever asked to dinner at anyones home from the Church never called friend!  I was not told come sit with me at Bible study! Then God start healing the inside of me! Believing God with Beth Moore and listening to Blackaby book at the same time. Then the dream happened! It was one night after praying for the child dying and her family! My heart was broken for her family! There was so much pain with the child I had never mets death! That morning as I finally went to bed i had a daydream kind of! I heard my Husband taking his shower before work and my husbands Father was with us! So we were sleeping upstairs! The half awake half asleep thing happened! I saw a Truck next to me in a car the truck was pretty silver trailer and blue and I saw myself seeing the truck about to fall over on top of me but there was a child with me and I placed my body over the child and the truck fell and we were safe! The car was crushed! It was so clear the dream! As my husband finish his shower! I told him about it ! He joked and said well you better stay at home today for I don't want a truck falling on you!. I never learned a lot of addresses in the Bible for scriptures. as I was falling back asleep I heard Hebrew13:8 and I grumbled because I was sleepy and I did not want to go look up on the computer what Hebrew13;8 was ! Then the voice as clear as bell standing near and it was not my voice said Hebrews 13:8 still grumbling I got out bed really angry I was  getting out of bed to go look! There it was Jesus is the same yesterday today and forever! Yes I may have heard it a thousand times before but I never knew it was in the Bible! I had been researching the Passover for sadder I wanted to have because of Jesus the one and only! Then I wanted to know if other people had strange dreams and I started looking it up! i wanted to know why I was telling people Bible verses and why i suddenly thought I knew so much about Jesus and why ? Things were happening like people walking up to me in the mall and hotels and in the street saying things about the Bible. Then I was at getting my oil changed with Keith and a Man started talking to me about Jesus and his wife had visions and she could even heal and that she was going to a concert of this famous Violin player and Keith and I had nothing to do so we went to Concert and listened to most beautiful music together! Then I turned on Daystar and was listening to Beth Moore on life today and next show was Joni and it was John Paul Jackson and he was telling about what the Lord showed him.  I was so desperate to know about the dreams and then I saw he had a course on Dreams and Visions!  First you had to take this course! So I signed up for the course and there were several courses there and I watched one on getting rid of past hang ups about sexual molestation! How God kills fear and how to hear from God! Then it started making sense what i had happened to me! He explained the Holy Spirit and Jesus and God and how the trinity worked I had a little help from the book The Shack but John Paul put it in perspective for me! No one was telling me at church about how spirit leads you but i knew something was happening to me! I began to have more and more things happen! All i know is my God is powerful and the Holy spirit leads us and helps us make choices! I often look for God in everything and now that I look for his Character and things that he says are truth are truth. I know to believe the Bible and not to look to mankind for my help and to trust God his word has the answers and I know had I not started listening to John Paul I would probably think I was nuts myself but My God often shows up and I love his presence! Funny I now find them at church when I attend and now that I got the me of me out of the way I can spend more time with God in his word and see his presence in as simple as giggle of a child or smile of teacher or flower in my Garden. I know this is hard to understand but even some mornings i awake and pray the Lords prayer just to remind myself who he is and what he has done for me! I enjoy the thought time and then something will happen a verse or tv program or phone call from a friend !  Maybe what I had prayed or a verse will be exactly what is about to happen when I go to church I often find spirit urges me to study something I will need for the day! Sometimes to help or encourage a friend Sometimes just to show me how he puts order in my chaos  and how he loves me with healing and helps my friends with prayer! I often see so many prayers answered because I look for them! Am i special No I am not! Anyone can have what I have with the Lord all you have to do is look for him You know seek and you will find him! He is there in the still small voice if you listen your will here it and if the voice says what about me! It is not from him especially if you are thinking of yourself for you see Jesus never thought of himself first! John Paul taught seeking God and believing is the key to following Christ. oh and The Church is just a place for people like me we make mistakes and  we often do not look like Christ when we really should We are just studying the word there and hoping it stays in our hearts. In case you didn't notice the whole time I was talking about these are other people in the church I was being pretty judgmental and I did not look like a Christian either.